Wednesday, September 21, 2011

Anonym Ass

I woke up at 6:00 AM today to a beautiful cool Fall morning with big plans to break out the Crock Pot , bake cookies, go with The Man to get a new tattoo and just enjoy a down day. I brewed a pot of coffee, grabbed a stack of reading I have been ignoring, added my sketch book to the stack so I could start outlining today's post and headed out to the front porch. Perfect. Quiet. Just me and the birds and the occasional neighbor out on a walk. When 8 AM rolled around, I packed up and headed to my office to start writing and working on a few Honey Badger Press projects.

My first order of business every morning  is to check for comments to approve and post. I  hate having to "approve" comments but I had to start doing it because some  douche canoe was posting rude and aggressive comments towards my Kittens. Of course all under the  "Anonymous" name. Not only is that uncool, it pisses me off when people hide behind anonymity to be asshats out loud and fly their douche bag banners. So, I had to start holding comments for approval instead of just letting them flow onto the blog when you intend them to. Guess who the first comment was from today? Yep, one spineless Anonym Ass. I'm totally fine with most anonymous comments because they are generally complimentary, funny, insightful or represent a different opinion and do not equal a verbal drive by. Those are all welcome anonymous comments. However, if  you want to go out on a personal attack on me or a fan, then you should have the man sack to sign your name. Otherwise, you are a douche. A pussy. A fucktard. All rolled into one hairy invertebrate window licker. 

On the Momsters post, Anonym Ass posted this little gem, "Excise each "momster" and just put your own name there. I have no doubt, you're a Democrat". I started the task of taking the douche to the carpet in a rebuttal comment but then realized a post would be much more fun and perhaps a learning experience for them and entertainment for you. So here it is, my response, and more about me than I bet the asshat ever wanted to know:

  • On Being A Momster: I am not in that particular fucktarded club because I actually know how to drive/park my SUV, I don't have little bratty kids, I don't go to the bacon aisle for happy hour, I have the social intelligence to move the fuck out of people's way, I am considerate (at first)- and perhaps most importantly- I have the backbone to speak up and sign my name to whatever it is I might have to say whether anyone might like it or not. Unlike you. 
  • On My Political Alignment: I am not certain how you can claim to extract my political views from this, or any other, post. My blog  is a no political bullshit zone. Since you seem to be interested, I am the farthest one could possibly be from a "Democrat". My political views are more closely aligned to Libertarian values and that little piece of paper we call The Constitution. From your attempt to insult me ( I think) I can only pontificate that you are the dimmest of whits and the only tripe* you could regurgitate from Fox News was to call me a Democrat because they use it as an insult. Which I don't understand because I would rather have dinner with a Democrat any day than some nitwit that doesn't even have a name they are proud enough of to sign to their shitty comments. I will give you one free pass to web redemption and challenge you to come up with something more creative and colorful to call me;  perhaps a new addition to the Dirty Dictionary! Go ahead, we are all waiting to read what you come up with.
  • On Personal Attacks: I suggest you go read more about me on a post labeled, "Ask And You Shall Possibly Regret That You Did".  Then you can get all ape shit crazy and post your comments. But don't be a pussy and and try to be combative. Make a good argument, say something thought provoking, disagree but back your opinion. In short, don't be a tool.  However, I can call you out because :
    1. This is my blog
    2. My fans would think I was a giant pussy if I didn't
    3. I proudly sign my name to it all and
    4. This is my blog

  • On Being Anonymous:  Perhaps you should Google how to set appropriate privacy settings  on your device because as it is now- I can see your IP address and your email address. They both posted with your comment but I decided to be nice and not let that information be public for all of the interweb to see. Yet. So you see, it doesn't ever pay to be an assclown because sometimes Karma is instant. Clueless dumbass, line one!

As far as my day went, it was truly fantabulous! Home made chicken & dumplings were perfectly Fall and delicious. Our four hours at the tattoo shop equalled a ton a fun because our tat guy was a riot and some hot 21 year old flashed her very perfect boobies at us. The Man was delighted and so was I. Nothing wrong with thinking perky boobies are a site to behold! I didn't get to the cookies but I did pop open a new bottle of wine, wrapped up an article , chatted with my sister, hit 200 fans on Skinny Cat Facebook and made progress on other fun stuff. I declare today an epic win!

*tripe...thanks for that Amanda!


  1. You are quite welcome, my friend. I just love such a succinct word to say "something, especially speech or writing, that is false or worthless; rubbish." (That is for the ignoramus's benefit because I am sure his vocabulary is lacking.)

    I sure hope they read this.

    Who got the tattoo? You or The Man? What is it? Pictures or it didn't happen!

  2. The Man got a tat on his arm. Probably will post to his FB so checkit tomorrow :)

  3. OMG I bet their ass puckers in a deadly way when they read the last bullet pojnt. Holy crap!

  4. I love the blog. F**k the haters. Keep taking hater your making us famous.

  5. Ahh... gotta love dumbassery at its finest! The best comeback I have (and use occasionally) is "I've been called worse, by better!" Well played sista! Glad your day was awesome anyway.

  6. Thanks for the back up , Ladies! Not surprisingly, the Anonym Ass has yet to post a web redemtion try.

  7. I concur with your post –lmao!!!