Friday, May 27, 2011

I Quit You

Why is it so easy to figure out other peoples' problems? When one of my best girls ask me for advice- I am laser focused and seem to come up with a brilliant answer AND a plan (that's what they say out loud anyway). What should I do about a boy who won't call back? Oh, you put his sorry ass on ignore and move on, get that calendar full of fabulous and if he wants to catch up with you- will he'll have to work harder to get back into your good graces. Done! My mom is nagging me about getting married and I so don't want to - like ever. Well you tell her she raised you to be an independent woman and that's exactly what you are doing- she can't argue with a compliment! Next! My kid won't clean their room and I am so tired of nagging them. Empty that little shits room down to the items the state says you have to provide and let them earn a toy back for every good day of behavior (my big sister taught me that one- works like a charm). See- I can figure out your life but mine stumps me. Did you read all of the advice I gave The Girl yesterday- yeah- that sorta got rubbed in my face last night by a good friend.

If you've been stalking following my blog for any time- you know there are a few big deals heading my way. One- moving out of this great city and setting up shop elsewhere. I've been here since I was 7 and you can all do the math on  4  fuckity 0 - 7.  I don't think I know all of Austin yet. Just today coming back from lunch with some awesome work friends- I didn't know where I was- a whole new place I never knew existed. So much more to explore here. I will have to do that as a tourist when I come back to visit. I feel a little sad leaving- like i'm kissing an old friend good bye.

The Girl is not moving because her life is squarely here and she's off to school in the fall. This is the hardest part for me. It's been 18 years of me and her & her and me. This freaks me out. Freaks. Me. Out. Mostly because as bad ass as I strive to be- living hours away from The Girl kicks me over the mildly worried side of the line to the freak the fuck out side. It kicks me hard- right in the uterus. But you know what that kid said to me after I asked her for the 2,000,000,000,000 time if she is SURE she will be ok? She said, "Mom, you've put everything on hold for me your whole life- I want you to go do this for you. I'm proud of you for doing this even though you are scared to be away from me. YOU said to not be afraid to move on- so go. I will be ok". She's only 18. How did she get so smart?

There are two things I have always wanted to be but never did it for a million reasons. Sometimes because I thought maybe I would fall on my face and be an epic embarrassment to me and the planet. But mostly I needed a steady income. Something safe and a guaranteed- that the hours outside of Mon-Fri from 8-5 would be for my daughter. Period. Mission accomplished. I always had my heart set on being a lawyer- but now I am very glad I didn't follow that path. The other- well i'm doing it now- I am going to write full time. I have a couple of other ventures ahead of me. I will help launch The Man's real estate brokerage in the new city. That is his calling- I have never seen anyone make so many impossible transactions happen. He has a natural gift for the art of the deal. But I will spend most of my time writing. This blog, the truth about being 40 and now a children's book in the work. I just launched a small publishing company and you will read more about that later. You have front row tickets to my epic adventure- feel free to laugh at/with me, pipe in with advice and share my work. All of you Kittens that have been reading along have inspired me- both with your praise and your nasty grams- because whether I made you laugh, made you cry or pissed you off- I got you. And that means the world to me.

So it is time. Job- I quit you. This girl is going to go blaze a path in bad ass stilettos.


  1. I can only imagine how exciting and terrifying all this is. But I do know that you are a very intelligent and strong woman, you will take this tiger by the tail and have butter in no time.

    1. She's only 18. How did she get so smart?

    Answer: Look in the mirror. The beautiful, confident young woman about to take on the world is your creation. You created her life, you created her loving environment, you created the confidence in her. Well done, my friend.

    2. now a children's book in the work

    Response: That is wonderful! Now, you do know, don't you, that you can use words like fuck, fucker, asshat, fuckity and the like in a children's book, right? ;)

    *big hugs and pats on the back*

  2. You just launched a publishing company, huh? You know.... I have this blog.... *hint*cough*book deal*cough*

  3. What Amanda? I can't cuss in a kid book??? Well, that project is officially fuckin on hold! What the hell?? <3

  4. I wanted to add that the little cartoon came from