Saturday, May 14, 2011

Just Scotch Tape The Dials, Why Don't Ya!

It's been quite a blast living with The Man. He's pretty awesome and makes me laugh all of the time. He's romantic, considerate, sexy and nice to my cat. He is nice to my girly bits, too. And he cooks! He's pretty much perfect to me and also refuses to put up with my bullshit. Life is a dream here. You may puke now.

There are a couple of things about him though, that always leave me questioning his sanity and possibly losing what is left of mine. I'm OCD- so is he. To the point that he will come unhinged if someone (read: me) puts the ketchup in the wrong spot on the wrong shelf or if I maybe put the pepper in the wrong cabinet. We also have the always popular war of the sexes lid up vs. lid down dispute. Not really a dispute from me - I don't care if he doesn't leave it down. I have never understood why that is such a point of contention for couples. If I stumble into the restroom at night to pee and get my ass stuck in the bowl and shoot pee across the room- well that's my fault. I know there is a standing pisser in the house and I should of looked first. Not him. He gets butt hurt if I leave the seat down- because he's used to always having it up and if he's too tired to check the lid-  he might pee on the floor at 3 o'clock in the morning. To which I say- ha ha I beat you to it!  I proposed one of those laser pens. We could mount it to the ceiling so it pin points the center of the bowl  so he can aim accordingly. Or maybe reaching down and feeling if the lid is in the take off position or simply turning on a light  to see! That did not go over well. At. All.

Then there is the toaster. I adjust the toaster to what ever I need: brown, crisp, slightly smoking and unrecognizable. He likes the toaster to stay on one setting so he never has to check it. Anyone see a pattern developing? So the other night, I made some frozen waffles for dinner (don't get all judgy- I was hungry and the kid already ate) and then I went about my business. The next morning he made eggs, bacon & toast for himself. After his eggs & bacon were perfectly fried he went to get his toast and it was cold. Dead cold- no toasty goodness. I got a phone call for that - one I wish I hadn't answered. Hope he doesn't get too crazy and "fix" the cabinets and toilet like he "fixed" the toaster.

Just scotch tape the dials , why don't ya!


  1. Thats scary! Tape his eye lids shut then he cant see the dials changed;)

  2. Haa ! Since he always buys my wine and cooks my dinner...i'll let him win the tape war. plus- I might get shanked if I tried that!