"No thank you, no sugar. Please."
"It tastes better with an extra pump of chocolate!"
WTF! Which part of lite are you missing. Do I LOOK like I need EXTRA chocolate? My fucking scale needs therapy from this morning's weigh in and you want to offer me more fat for my ass. Excellent, douche bag, now I will definitely need that suicide prevention line on speed dial.
"No. No thank you. I would not like any sugar, syrup, chocolate or any extra other ass expanding ingredient added."
Barista laughs, "Oh that is so funny!"
Bitch, I am not laughing. I am about to cross over from Very Happy to Get a Special Iced Coffee Cat into Fuck Suicide, I'd Rather Go to Jail for Punching You in the Head Cat. Now blend my coffee before an epic bitch battle breaks out here in your shiny hipster infested lobby. M'kay? It looks like my irritable, scrunchy eyebrow look has delivered the appropriate message, perhaps I will now get my coffee so I can go shopping and be happy.
"Did you want whipped cream? I always put extra!"
I will not kill her. I will not kill her..."No. Thank. Youuuu."